October 2009
5 posts
930.
Whitney: you’d make a good drunken con artist though Me: awww that’s the sweetest thing you’ve said to me this week Whitney: i know how to romance my lady!
931. Formal Balls
Sara: I just googled Sara: “testicles with a bowtie” Sara: my life has reached a new low. Whitney: i concur
932.
Whitney: Spotted at the Humane Society: A couple with a stroller. The tiny child is forced to walk while the dogs are piled into the stroller. Your future.
Sara: Puppies > Children
September 2009
3 posts
935.
Greg: I'm still not dating anybody.
Whitney: Because you're saving yourself for Sara Katherine.
Greg: Please. If I wanted to be emasculated every day, I'd watch The View.
936.
Sara: I had a dream last night that you declared I was the prettiest one in our group.
Whitney: I had a dream about Big Brother.
Sara: This says a lot about who we are.
937.
Whitney: yeah, and they gave me free soaps.
Sara: FREE SOAPS!!!!!!
Sara: now you can bathe properly.
Whitney: hahahahah
Whitney: one is made out of avocado
Sara: MMMM
Sara: I'm gonna eat it for dinner
Whitney: that would not surprise me.
August 2009
64 posts
938.
Sara: The lead singer is totally your type.
Whitney: Ew, no. Why would you even say that?
Sara: Cause he looks like a fat Jesus!
939. Because of men like THIS! →
940.
Sara: This is SKR signing off.
Whitney: WPL too
Whitney: 10-4 tinky bear
Sara: over n out gillyboo
942.
Because when Whitney dies, she wants her ashes sprinkled over Emma’s litter box.
943.
Because they both convinced all of their girlfriends to eat dinner last night at the OLIVE GARDEN in TIMES SQUARE. Entirely for shits and giggles. And breadsticks.
944.
Sara: Do you think it would be dumb for my future fiance to buy me a $38,400 ring? Whitney: UM. YES. Sara: yeah. i agree. Sara: A $30,200 one is probably better Whitney: oh dear lord baby jesus
945.
Whitney: Aaaand my application to be on 'The Bachelor' has officially been sent!
Sara: You are a loser. But I hope you get picked.
Whitney: Why?
Sara: Because you on reality TV is my dream.
Sara: "Hi. I'm Whitney. I wore this dress just for you. I like cats. MEOOOOWWWW. Hope you pick me. I took a shower today."
946.
Because Whitney is currently applying to be on The Bachelor.
947.
Because a good friend just agreed this blog might lead to eternal singleness and said it’s probably a “digital nail in our coffin.”
948.
Because Sara likes watching “More to Love” while eating Ben & Jerry’s.
Watch949. Because Whitney has tapped dance in the road. And because Sara laughs like a crazy.
952.
Whitney: He seriously said, "You are a really great girl but I'm allergic to cats." And then proceeded to stop talking to me.
Sara: Well, that's what you get for having a picture of you posing with your cat on your Facebook page.
“Whitney, whenever you talk all I hear is ‘blah blah blah.’ You need to make your...”
– 954. Because even Whitney’s 10-year-old sister think she’s awesome.
956.
Sara: I would like to date a blind man.
Whitney: Aww, that's sweet.
Sara: Yeah, 'cause then I'd never have to wear make-up.
Whitney: Sigh.
957. Because this is for real...
Sara: goodnight gilly.
Whitney: goodnight tinky bear.
960.
[going through old photos]
Sara: Oh, here's a picture of the first night I got drunk. Oh, and here's one of my boyfriend Phil brushing my hair. And here's —
Whitney: Wait, wait, wait. You made your boyfriend brush your hair?
Sara: Um, yeah. What are boyfriends for?
962.
Jana: So what did you do tonight?
Whitney: Oh, Sara and I had a photo shoot in the living room. I would run through and jump with Emma's ribbon dancer toy and Sara would try to capture me mid-air. It was pretty awesome.
Jana: And we wonder why you're single.
“The only thing slick about you is your hair.”
– 963. Because this is how Sara picks up scares off men.
964.
Sara: Oh! I just thought of a joke! Um ... What do cats ... Wait. What do felines get on their bodies?
Whitney: I don't know.
Sara: Cattoos!
Whitney: *silence*
966.
Whitney: You know what I love about my BlackBerry?
Whitney: When I start dialing a random number this little window pops up to remind me of what MY phone number is. Thank you, BB.
Sara: You know what I love about time?
Sara: You can't get it back sometimes when people tell dumb stories.
967.
Whitney: I remember when I had my first real boyfriend, I thought it was necessary to give gifts for every month anniversary. Sara: Really? I thought it was necessary to RECEIVE gifts for every anniversary.
968.
Whitney: I feel like someone died.
Sara: Why?
Whitney: Because our TV is broken.
969.
Because this is a direct quote from Whitney:
“See, that’s why I have cats…so I don’t get pregnant.”
970.
Because Whitney dated someone who once said this:
“I don’t think you can be a vegetarian in jail. I guess if you’re a vegetarian in jail, they give you fruits or something.”
971.
Sara: Is that your orange juice in the fridge?
Whitney: Yes, you can dump your vodka into it.
Sara: You know me too well.
973.
Because we have a blog called “1,001 Reason We’re (Probably) Single.”
Sigh.
974.
Because this is what our good friend thinks of our personal blogs:
“Whitney’s blog is just a collection of cat pictures and updates on her most recent baking activities, while yours is dedicated only to your many indistinguishable drunken outings. A starker contrast there could not be.” — Michael
975.
Because Whitney has to always say “Sara, what would Rebecca Bloomwood do?” before Sara makes any (ir)rational clothing purchase.
976.
Whitney: So, you know my ex-boyfriend [redacted]…the one with the guns and dead rabbits and crowns of thorns?
Sara: No, I don’t. Thank God.
978.
Because Whitney likes Dane Cook.
